Alien Trolls, Uranus and Other Seventh-Grade Worries
by iconoclasticGentleman
Summary: Dave Strider could care less about the solar system - he just wants to get through Vantas' science class. But then a new girl arrives, and this Jade Harley could teach him more than Vantas ever could. Including the gravity on Uranus. Pre-DaveJade, hints of other ships, rated for language and seventh-graders. Happy B-Day, anemicCat!


**Hey guys! Taking a split from Hetalia for a day to write something for my lovely moirail, anemicCat! She has a profile on here with a HP fic that you should all go check out, and she's just generally really awesome and supportive and I love her, and so I wrote her this. I hope you enjoy it, AC! **

**Your normal Hetalia broadcasting will return after these messages.**

**Alien Trolls, Uranus, and Other Seventh-Grade Worries**

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><p>Your name is Dave Strider, and -<p>

"Strider! It's nine in the morning and you're falling asleep already?"

- and you are totally awake, yes sirree not sleeping at all. You sit up in your chair just in time to see Mr. Vantas mutter under his breath and turn back to the whiteboard.

You have no idea how this guy became a teacher. He's really young and he's kind of an asshole, but he knows a lot about science and apparently that's all that matters.

You rub your eyes and sit up, scribbling down something that resembles notes in your notebook, but looks more like a mystical language you would use to sacrifice Vantas to the devil. Or maybe some kind of alien troll language.

Just as you're pondering the anatomy of alien trolls and the newly monikered "Sweet Troll Jeff and Hella Troll Bro", a suspiciously Vantas-shaped shadow appears above your paper.

"So, when you're done doing whatever you're doing, Strider..."

You look up with a look that you know pisses Vantas off, and this time is no exception. "Yes, Mr. Vantas?"

The class chuckles quietly at your insurgence and you try not to grin - middle school reputations are always based on how funny you are. Lucky for you that you're hilarious.

Meanwhile, Vantas looks as though he's about to pop a vein. "Do you even know what the assignment is, Strider?"

"Nope."

Laughter ripples around the room and Vantas scowls. "This project will be worth fifty points, so I suggest you get it together. Also, because of your... stubbornness, you can be the student to work alone. Pick a planet."

You really don't have any idea what's going on, but you prefer working alone. You pick a slip of paper out of the hat and read it, smirking.

"It's Uranus, Mr. Vantas."

The class bursts into immature laughter as Vantas rolls his eyes and takes the slip of paper back, walking to the front of the room and gesturing to his wall of notes.

Despite how it seems, you really aren't a bad student, and you start jotting down the list of requirements as Vantas talks.

"So, now that everyone has a planet... this project will be due next Monday, and you'll have two days to work on it in class. All the information that is required is on the worksheet I handed out earlier in class. I'm looking for creativity, thoroughness, and - " the bell rings, " - and none of you are listening anymore."

He's right. The bell at the end of science class signals freedom for all the middle school students, and the quiet class bursts into chatter as everybody packs up, eager to get out of the hellhole called school.

You follow suit, piling all your notebooks on top of each other and heading out of the classroom. You're pretty sure Vantas may have flipped you off as you left, but that kind of accusation could get a guy fired - and nobody wants that, right?

Someone falls into step with you as you walk and you shove them gently, as always. "Yo."

"Yo," Egbert says, grinning. "Making Mr. Vantas mad at you again?"

"Always."

You smirk as he laughs, and pull out your totally ironic shades. "Dude, what do you have against him? He's not that bad," Egbert says as you two stop next to your lockers. You twirl your combination lock effortlessly while Egbert takes a second to remember his, as always. Dork.

You momentarily consider taking your science stuff home - but eh, you're not gonna do any of that stuff anyway. Eventually you just grab your math notebook and drop it in your backpack, slamming the locker shut just as Egbert does the same.

"To the buses!" He cries with a grin."

You roll your eyes. "You sound like you're leading, like, the Knights of the Round Table to find the Holy Grail."

"Am I King Arthur, then?"

"Nah, you're not cool enough."

Egbert pouts, and that's totally what he's doing. "You're not cool enough to be Arthur, either! We have to be the duo of Lancelot and Robin, Dave, that's us."

Neither of those are very appealing choices. Egbert starts singing. "Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot - "

He's really an idiot sometimes. You cut him off with a garbled swear and he laughs, shoving the door open. Buses are heading out of the parking lot, revealing all the parents' cars parked behind them. Egbert immediately spots his dad's station wagon, parked in the same spot every single day. "See ya later, Dave - oh hey, did you hear the news?"

Surprisingly, you didn't hear the news. "What?"

Egbert looks excited in his derpy way, with his grin. "We might be getting a new girl in class! I heard somebody just moved here and she's in seventh grade, too!"

You're pretty sure that's not very exciting - but then again, nobody ever moves here. And Egbert always is the friendly one. "Huh. See you later, Egbert - your dad's calling you."

You very_ courteously_ ignore the embarrassing hollers that Mr. Egbert is making, wave bye to Egbert as he dashes away, and trudge across the parking lot to where your own brother is parked. His convertible is pretty much the ugliest, most beat-up thing ever - and therefore, it's ironically awesome. You can't wait to inherit it someday.

Bro doesn't even greet you, really - he dips his head and turns the music down a little, but you're used to that. You slip into the backseat because of course Dirk is the one who gets the front seat, and Bro pulls out of the parking lot in what could be one of the most dangerous maneuvers ever, screeching to a stop right behind Egbert and his dad.

Mr. Egbert pokes his head out of the window to look at Bro. You're pretty sure they're having eyeball sex on a daily basis. It's kind of gross.

Your brother's sexual tension aside, you sink back into the seat of the convertible and focus on the electronica booming from the speakers. Soon, all thoughts of Uranus or new girls leave your mind.

* * *

><p>Until the next day.<p>

"Alright, everybody calm down, class has started," Vantas says in a angry tone, although he almost always sounds angry. Today, though, he sounds... less angry than normal, if that's possible.

You perch your legs on the back of the empty chair in front of you and lean back, waiting for class to actually get started.

Today's a work day for that planet project - haha, Uranus. Your plan is to goof off with Egbert the whole time and get it done Sunday night, like you do with every project.

But there's a change of plans, it seems. Vantas gets everyone to shut up, and then he says, "Well, before we head to the library - I'll bet everyone's heard already, but we have a new student."

Wait, Egbert wasn't lying? You sit up. "She just moved from out of state, so..." Vantas looks rather uncomfortable with these kinds of words. "Make her feel at home? Sure. Her name's Jade."

There's a knock at the door and all the whispering falls to silence as everyone turns to stare at the door in anticipation. Vantas opens it and then he... smiles - and you're pretty sure that expression is completely foreign to him.

"Hey Jade," he says, opening the door. Someone steps into the room.

And you really wish that you had your shades on, because the way your eyes widen is pretty embarrassing.

You're only in seventh grade - you aren't getting it on with people like Dirk is, not yet although you're still a total stud and all the girls want you.

But damn, she's cute.

She's tan, she must have moved from somewhere farther south and her hair is long and black and it looks really silky, and her eyes are really green and they only look bigger because of her huge glasses and wow.

"Jade, you can sit over there in front of Strider," Vantas says and you remember to pull your feet off of the chair right before she sits down, and she sort of rearranges herself in her seat and then she turns around to smile at you and you're totally not blushing.

Some kid behind you mutters something about "Strider has a crush already" and you vow to absolutely destroy him in dodgeball tomorrow.

Vantas rolls his eyes. "Everybody up - to the library we go!"

Always eager at the idea of a day away from Vantas' normal teaching, everybody springs up and heads in a nice, orderly, Vantas-approved line down to the library. You straggle along at the end with Egbert, whispering frantically under your breath.

"Dude, you weren't lying when you said there was a new girl."

"Of course I wasn't!" Egbert's not a very good whisperer, and a couple girls look around to glare at the two of you. "Her name's Jade, huh? She seems nice."

"She seems cute," you say without thinking, blushing when you realize it. Curse your naturally porcelain skin.

Egbert quirks an eyebrow and jerks it up and down in some weird move that is probably supposed to be provocative but just looks like he has a caterpillar on his forehead. "Is that so, Dave...?"

"Shut up."

The library is even quieter than the hallway, if that's possible, and with one half-grin back at Egbert, you split to grab your own table. You're working alone, after all.

And then Vantas walks over, new girl in tow. Shit.

"Strider," the teacher says in a low voice, "you're gonna work with Jade for this project. Help her out, yeah?" His tone implies exactly what kind of punishment is in store for you if you don't help her out, and it's not a pizza party.

"Um, alright," you say, trying to sound cool although you don't feel cool. You definitely don't feel as cool as Uranus. You shove some of your crap to one side of the table and pull the chair next to you out for the girl to sit in.

"I'm Strider - uh, Dave. Dave Strider," you say hastily, and if that wasn't the best impression of James Bond ever, you don't know what is. "Nice to meet you."

The girl finishes organizing her papers in a nice pile of green folders and notebooks, and then she looks up at you and flicks her hair out of her face and smiles.

"Jade Harley," she says in a quiet voice, and shit, you're pretty sure this is what a middle school crush feels like. "Nice to meet you."

What do you say now? Vantas taught you about the solar system, not about how to talk to girls. (Not that the guy's very good at that, you bet.) At least there's one safe subject for you to stay on. "So, um, the project's about the solar system - "

"I know," the girl - Jade - interrupts you, pulling a paper out from between all her other stuff. "Mr. Vantas gave me the project sheet earlier. Uranus, yeah?"

"Y-yeah," you say, feeling totally off-guard. Oh, you hope to God that she isn't one of those girls who's totally uptight and focused totally on school -

And then she giggles. "Hehe, Uranus... gets me every time!"

And this is totally what love at first sight feels like. Definitely.

Well, no. But to your inexperienced seventh grade mind, it may as well be. You grin.

"Nice to see I'm not the only one," you say and Jade smiles at you. "Well, uh, what do we all have to look up?"

You lean over to look at the worksheet because you're too lazy to get your own out, and that's when you realize all the answers are already filled in, with a neat loopy handwriting. "What - "

Words fail you and Jade looks away, and you're pretty sure she's blushing. "I, uh, I really like space," she says nervously. "Like, I _really_ like space. I knew all this stuff already, so I just wrote down all the stuff I know - is that, is that weird?"

Holy crap, this girl may be the best thing that's happened to you in Vantas' class all year.

"Um, no, that's not weird," you say emphatically. "That's - that's crazy. In a good way."

Jade looks up and wow, she looks so nervous. It comes to you as a shock that anyone could think that was weird. You can barely remember your times tables and Jade knows that the gravity on Uranus is... 8.69 meters per second squared. What?

Jade giggles and you realize you said that out loud. Wow, that's embarrassing. "Um... anyway."

"I'm glad," Jade says.

"Glad about what?" You ask.

It's when Jade looks away that you notice she had written your name at the top of her paper, on the line for "Partner's Name". That little thing makes you smile, just as much as her words. "I'm glad we got partnered together. I was kind of worried about this school and - "

"Nothing to worry about as long as you're friends with me," you proclaim loudly, and you know that you're going to be friends with Jade for a long, long time.

* * *

><p>You barely notice when the bell rings. It's only when the library is almost empty that you and Jade look up from your drawings and realize that school is over.<p>

"Oh!" Jade exclaims, stacking her papers together in an orderly way and filing the project paper away. "School's done!"

"Yeah," you say, chuckling. "Your first day of school in a new place. Was it everything you hoped it be?"

"Sure it was!" Jade chirps and you laugh.

You can learn a lot about a person in thirty minutes. So far, you've learned that Jade rarely understands sarcasm but when she employs it, it's deadly; she's living with her brother Jake after her grandfather died (you didn't really know how to respond to that) and that she has a bunch of pet frogs that live in the pond outside her apartment complex and all of them are named after planets except the biggest bullfrog, whose name is Genesis.

And it's only March. There's a lot of science classes to go yet. And you're excited.

Egbert's waiting for you and he walks over now, grinning with a sparkle in his eye that looks entirely too mischievous. "Hey guys! I'm John," he introduces himself. "Did Dave help you out?"

"Yeah, he really did!" Jade says happily and you try not to get a big head, although yeah, you are that awesome. "We got all the research for our project done and now we're plotting the display, oh, it's gonna be so cool!"

"You guys are done with all the research already?" Egbert sounds impressed.

You shrug. "Eh, it's all thanks to Jade and her genius memory," you say. "Come on, guys. The book vapors are getting to me."

"They're making you smart!"

"Sure they are," you laugh and the three of you walk out of the library towards your lockers. Jade has the empty one next to you, what a coincidence.

You plop down and start sorting stuff into piles of what you need to take home for the weekend and what you don't, and next to you Egbert is bickering with his project partner named Rose, and Jade grabs a spring jacket out of her locker and grins at you.

You have something that could be almost a premonition flash through your mind's eye for a mere second; three years from now. The same formation of lockers, although a different school; the same four students, although different. Jade's still smiling at you.

"Dave? Did you want to get together this weekend and work on the project?" She asks, sounding almost nervous, as if you'd reject her. As if you could.

You grin and slam your locker closed and Egbert and the still bickering Rose fall into step with you and Jade.

"Sure, that sounds cool," you say. Take it one day at a time, one weekend at a time, and hey, in three years, who knows where you guys could end up?

One thing's for sure, though - you're going to be friends with Jade for a long, long time.

And Vantas will always hate you.

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><p><strong>I may end up writing more in this universe. Belligerent teachers Vantas and Pyrope, anyone? Also, Monty Python songs - only reason that whole bit about Camelot is in there. <strong>


End file.
